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Jersey Cup Winners
2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009
Monmouth Old Boys
Tournament Winners 2006, 2008, 2009

Morris Rugby Masters Spring 2009
Schedule
Previous Seasons:
Fall
2008 | Spring
2008 | Fall
2007 | Spring
2007 | Fall
2006 | Spring
2006 | Fall
2005 | Spring
2005 | Fall
2004 | Spring
2004 | Fall
2003 | Spring
2003 | Fall
2002 | Spring
2002
MASTERS, WHERE ARE YOU? WE NEED YOUR NEW ADDRESS
INFORMATION.
PLEASE FILL OUT THE FORM BELOW AND SEND IT:
Masters
Information
Sat May 16th - Morris Retain Jersey Cup Masters Division
A great Englishman, Dennis Gibson, said it was the
perfect English day- overcast, foggy and cool. A great American, Ernie
Banks, said "let's play 2". So we did.
The first game was against North Jersey. We THOUGHT we would be playing
in an Olde Boyz bracket. The first clue that something was amiss was
when the hotties showed up in support of the opposition. . . and they
were not the daughters of the players, but the girlfriends. Standing on
the sidelines, I saw more cleavage than at a plumber's convention.
Morris played well, moving the ball and tackling. The gap in age gave
Bergen an advantage on second phase action. With a slight lead at the
break, they pressed the advantage in the second half and scored on
several long runs off of Morris breakdowns.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do, thus when Simon was sent off the
pitch with a minor flesh wound above the eye, he returned in the guise
of a Revolutionary American soldier. With bloody gauze covering one
eye, he lopped off a leg and came back onto the pitch wilst blowing a
lilt on his fife, then resumed his stirling play.
In the second game, grey hair was displayed in overflowing plumes on
both sides. But before the game could begin, one minor problem would
need to be resolved. Both Morris and Wilkes-Barre have red uniforms.
Luckily, this was a tournament, so quick thinking ruled the day. MyMy
supplied his black U13 jerseys. Massage therapists had 2 tables nearby
AND the kind folks of Johnsonville had a demonstrator of their new
portable sausage making machine. To enable the U13 jerseys to pack in
the extra 100 lbs of sinewy muscle per player, each Morris player laid
down on a massage table and the Johnsonville people did their wurst to
stuff each player in a uniform. (thank you, I'll be appearing at
Chuckles next weekend). These jerseys made us feel young again. New Guy
was seemingly aroused by the suddenly svelte figure he now projected,
or maybe he was just cold.
It was a classic Olde Boys match. 2 well matched teams that showed
flashes of their younger brilliance. Each score was in turn matched by
the opposition. There was very little of that infernal kicking that
made such a debacle of the first game. With a spirited run up the
middle, Jack touched the ball down directly under the goalposts for the
first Morris score of the day. Before Neil could take the gimme for the
conversion, the skies darkened and thunder rumbled across the heavens,
lending ominous overtones to the kick. This turn of events, coupled
with a severely strained hamstring and the ball blowing off the tee
during the run up obviously unsettled the Welshman, as the kick
hit the right hand upright, bounced across and hit the left hand
upright and went agonisingly wide. This unbelievable turn of events
would prove to be prophetic. 2 Wilkes-Barre tries closed out the 1st
half. Morris would break first in the 2nd half. Led by an inspirational
long run by Young Lad Dave off a loose ball, Alex would touch it down
and Doc added the conversion to knot the score. Wilkes-Barre would
score again, but Alex would again take advantage of a WB breakdown and
score. Again, Doc added the conversion. The game could not be resolved
in full time. These steely warriors needed an extra 5 minutes to decide
the outcome. Regretably, Wilkes-Barre took advantage of a loose
interpretation of the knock on rule to run in for an early score in
extra time.
Thus ended the on-field Spring 2009 season, while the off-field season
bears great promise. Despite losing both games on the day, Morris retained the Masters Jersey Cup title for an unprecedented 6th straight season due to there not officially being a Masters Division. Huzzah for us!
Sat April 25th - Morris @
Union - 14-41 L
For a bunch of men who gamely came
together after
three weeks on the trot this kind of outcome might have been
expected. The Morris Masters played their 5th match of the
season
with 16 players, some of whom were jet lagged, some of whom played out
of position and some of whom were not used to being on the pitch for an
entire match. Under a sunny sky they took on The Union Old
Boys
at Unami Park in their FIRST match of the season. Union had
plenty of players at all positions, some of them not too far removed
from their A side. Union dominated in all phases in the first
20
minutes and when luck was needed they seemed to get the bounce they
wanted as well. The Masters kept their chins up and continued
to
play as hard as possible and were rewarded with a try under the posts
in a puddle for Paul Hutchins after a nice break by Alex Ciaraffo who
finally found time to join his mates! Pinky playing wing
converted. After what seemed like a 30 second break the ref
got
the match going again and there were some sparks of inspired Masters
rugby resulting in a score in the corner off of some nice open running
the ball passing from Jon Epstein to Ciaraffo to Feury. Again a nice
conversion from the corner. Despite the constant overloads
and
deep gains the Union players were able to carry off there were many
good tackles made by our lads to try and curb the onslaught.
Jack
“No Hair”, Game Guy and Tom Feury showed off
classic
prowess in that respect and the importance of lowering your
shoulder.
There was a Tony Jones (and Dina) sighting at the pitch which was great
but only made some of the battered players wonder….what if?
The Masters now have two weeks to rest and train….get some
players back and hopefully put out a good side vs our old friends The
Connecticut Greys at home in Denville on May
9th
Sat April 18th - Morris v
Bayonne - 15-10 W
It was a glorious spring day on
Saturday. With no members of the Masters In Training
available, the Masters would have to rely upon their steadily growing
roster. Without as much as one Brokeback exhortation, the
Masters appeared in numbers that would have made Cecil B. DeMille
envious. These reserves would prove to be needed, as the
Masters kicked off against Bayonne.
It was a hard-hitting game throughout, as Bayonne repeatedly tested the
Morris will and tackling abilities. Early on, both teams
settled into a game of rugby ping pong, with each teams best offense
being a kick to the other side and letting the other side fumble out of
bounds, then resume with a lineout. Eventually, this
silliness ended and a real rugby game ensued. Bayonne scored
first, winning a ball at the Morris 5 meter line and quickly swinging
across the field for an easy try in the far corner. Morris
quickly answered. Off of a maul deep in the Bayonne zone, Jon
picked up the ball and took advantage of the confusion in the Bayonne
backline and knifed his way in for the score. Pinky added the
conversion.
Later in the 1st half, after a Morris offensive stalled and before
Morris could recover, Bayonne punched through another
try. Morris would come back to to tie the score at 10 on a
penalty score off the foot of Aussie Dave.
The second half featured more of the same. Both sides testing
the spine of the opposition. Cry Me would pick up a ball at
the Bayonne 5 metre line and prance in for the try to put Morris up
15-10. Late in the game, Bayonne drove to the Morris try
line. Repeatedly, Bayonne tried to keep the ball tight and
push in for the tieing try. Repeatedly, Morris repelled the
invaders from the East. Repeatedly, the Referee would call a
penalty against Morris and advise that this was the last play of the
match. Repeatedly, Morris would hold. Eventually,
with the sun setting in the West and the Sir's voice raspy from the
repeated last play warning, the Masters held one last time.
The Sir could think of no more penalties to call and ended the match.
With more Vintage beer available, the action continued on the sidelines
after the match. Cry Me and New Guy were discussing the
hygiene habits of those in the Tight 5. How is it that an
otherwise self-described heterosexual, can respond to auditory and
olfactory stimuli to differentiate between a tight head prop and a 1000
lbs bull musk ox in rutting season? All agreed that the Front
Row . . . it's not just a position . . . it's a lifestyle.
The match was refereed under the auspices of a Six Nations sanctioned
referee. The last minute notwithstanding, he showed overall
that he was deserving of such merit. The normally talkative
Morris side was suspiciously quiet during the game, but could not be
restrained after the match. MyMy was seen describing some the
lessons that he had learned at the Flag game and proposing several
ERV's that could be used at the adult level. Later, Andy was
seen with his arm draped casually over the Sir's shoulder, discussing
the benefits of, and the finer technical points of refereeing from the
Steinberg Circle.
It was then off to Hoovers for Yuenglings, Vitamin J, empanadas and
preparing for next weeks match at Union.
Sat April 11th - Morris v
Village Lions - 17-0 W
Saturday morn was cold, wet and windy
. . . the prototypical English
day. In other words, perfect for that most English of sports. On
Vintage Rugby day, this was to be the last game for 25 Masters
veterans. Not players, but the tattered and torn jerseys. To be
unceremoniously cast aside like yesterday's underwear.
In honor of this solemn occasion, the Masters took to the Denville
pitch against the Village Lions. The Masters numbers were swelled by
aspirants from the youth team. Morris kept the ball tight and jumped
out 5-0 on an early try by Carlos. Repeated Lions thrusts were met by a
staunch defense. When the defense bended, some well placed kicks from
Doc's foot kept the Lions at bay.
While the Masters have been playing well lately, something was missing.
Tony, Selfish B*stard I, is on the Injured List. Alex, Selfish B*stard
II, was reputed to be off chasing embezzled Byram soccer money. This
reporter is unclear whether Alex was chasing the perp because he is an
outraged parent, or because he saw a new client getting away. The pitch
was wide open for a new Selfish B*stard to emerge.
In the second half, Morris liberally substituted in kids from the U40
team. The game was played mostly on the Lion side of the pitch, as the
kids kept the pressure on. Finally, the ball came out of the scrum and
made it's way to Carlos. Ignoring 2 wide open backs on the outside, he
pictured the Lion defender as one of the Falkland invaders and threw
the renegade on his back and sashayed into the try zone. On this Easter
weekend, El B*stardo Egoistica Tres was baptized. As the half wore on,
the kids kept the pressure on. The ball made it all the way to the
wing, where Brian finished the drive. Doc added the conversion to
finish the scoring. Final score, Morris 17 Lions 0.
Afterwards, after some Vintage (i.e. cheap) beer, it was HOOVER"S - - -
NOW!!! to thaw out and prepare for next weekend
Sat March 28th - Morris
@
Monmouth - Morris retains the Championship

The Masters opened the Spring season
with a strong showing of over 20
players at the Monmouth Old Boys Tourney last Saturday.
Also in attendance were Monmouth, the Gentlemen of NY and Jamaica.
Morris won both of their games in the Round Robin format.
The first game, Morris played against an amalgamation of Gentlemen and
Monmouth players. It was a hard fought match, done in classic old boys
style, and refereed by gnarled and respected veteran of days gone by.
Both teams fought each other to a standstill, with most of the action
between the 22s for the first half. Of note during this half was the
"winging" of the Morris eight man, after the (gnarled and respected
veteran) referee let the play go on for a long time after the tackle.
The eight man's left arm was literally pulled from its socket, and used
to beat him senseless, while the Sir kept repeating "PLAY ON, PLAY ON"!
Eventually, through liberal use of free substitution, the Masters
prevailed in the first match.
Having won, there was nothing left to do but go directly into their
second match, against a younger and faster Jamaican team. New rules be
damned, the more experienced Masters, neutralized the Jamaican
advantage by running into the pack and holding ball until called for.
This strategy proved effective and Morris went on to trounce the
younger team.
Morris scoring for both Matches is credited to:
Cal, with and assist from Jim Leslie, in the First game (nice effort
from the whole team as it was on the 4th or 5th phase).
Don Slade (Who also made the only conversion).
Mike Ryan (With an assist from the unselfish Pinky)
And leading the scoring effort with 3 tries was Carlos (the reluctant
wing).
The new ELVs were in effect for both matches, which might explain all
the kicking? Not that everyone understands them anyway - is there one
about not tackling?.
Go to
http://www.morrisrugby.org for the main Morris Rugby site
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